Four Lies Culture Tells us About Living Together Before Marriage

I thought this was a great article and deserved passing on:

Four Lies Culture Tells us About Living Together Before Marriage

There were a couple thoughts on it I wanted to expand on:

First, when the article says, “So, if a guy won’t pursue a relationship with you because you refuse to move in with him, is he the guy you really want to be with?”, the obvious answer is ‘no!’. But even more, I think this is where a certain inherent self-worth and inner-resolve needs to come in, yet is still really, really difficult to hold fast to.

You really like the guy. You think he just might be “the one”. All he’s asking is for you to do this one thing. And it’s not reeeallllyyy a big thing when you think about it. I mean, we’ll be living together soon enough anyway…why not just start it now. He’s a really, really nice guy. Not like those other guys. This article is just talking about all those other guys. Not this guy. You really like this guy. He might just be “the one”.

Round and round it goes. Then you cave.

Could this guy be a really nice guy? Most likely. Could you really be missing out on a great relationship (at least for a while) if you don’t cave to his request? Maybe.

That’s what makes it really, really hard.

But societal change has to start somewhere. It’s not magic. It’s not rocket science either. Why not start with you? Why not start now? Flippant, maybe, but many answers regarding faith, belief, and conviction, really are that easy, that flippant, AND that hard…because this answers often run so counter to what our culture has manifested.

It’s hard/good to be different. It’s hard/good to be weird. And most importantly, it’s hard/good to stand for something of worth.


Even better, I can guarantee you that the guy you do hold out for will be worth infinitely more in the long run, as will your inner resolve to hold fast to your own convictions…which will include a willingness to work through the inevitable tough times that will come. Which leads me to the second thought…

Second, I also felt this was a great quote: “The truth is, you can’t “practice” marriage. Marriage is a permanent commitment. And you’ll never know what the other person will do if you get cancer or lose your job until it happens years (perhaps even decades) down the road. That’s part of the risk—part of the adventure. That’s why part of the marriage vow says, “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” (emphasis mine)

If you get nothing else out of this article, even if you choose not to click on the link and read the full text, we all—whether currently involved in a relationship, or seeking, or soon to seek—need to “get” the full implications of this quote.

I hope ya’ll take the time to read the article though. It’s well worth the precious few minutes it will take.

One thought on “Four Lies Culture Tells us About Living Together Before Marriage”

  1. Wow, Kent, you are really brave—-most people don’t want to declare their beliefs on this issue. I wish every person living with someone outside of marriage could read this. When my husband and I made our marriage covenants in the Mormon temple, we also made covenants with God. He is part of our marriage and we believe that marriage and family give us the greatest opportunities to learn and grow to become more like Jesus Christ. Marriage is the most sacred covenant ordinance of the gospel. Although it is not easy to remain chaste before marriage, there are so many blessings that come through obedience to that commandment. I am grateful for the blessings of peace, trust, health, and the companionship of the Spirit that come to us when we obey the commandment of chastity and moral purity.

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