Reactions to My Posts on Addiction – – In Worlds of “Could” and “May” and “Might”

I must say, the reaction to my posts(s) on porn addiction (My Old Friend and Reactions & Resources) takes me back a bit ~ a reaction that includes the request that my wife and I resign our positions at the non-profit organization my wife helped co-found, Ds Connections Nw.  It seems, and not for the first time, I’ve breached a sensitive subject matter wherein worry has reared its ugly head about how other people could, or may, or might react: Yet not how anyone actually has, or had, up to the point of our resignation, to the best of my knowledge.

I am curious though, within these posts, what anyone of the general public found to be offensive?

One might say, “Oh, I personally didn’t find it offensive.  Still, the subject matter is too overly sensitive, especially given the positions that you and your wife carry in a non-profit organization; most especially one that deals so directly with children.”

Or possibly it’s the fact that it may be seen as such.

Okay, I get that. (Truly, I do.)

But I must say; unless someone specifically comes forward with this complaint, with this offense, we’re merely jumping at our own shadows, eventually only to be frozen in place, unable to accomplish anything for fear of who we might offend.  And if the offense has not in actuality taken place, the offensiveness must not lie within the perception of the public, it lies within our own perceptions.

So again I ask: what, in my recent post, was found to be offensive?

Is it the subject matter?  The word “porn”?

If so, you didn’t read the posts.  Or, you got so hung up on the word so that the true subject matter never permeated your understanding; locked out by preconceived and unintentionally misguided notions of right and wrong, good and bad, your own sensitivities and what you believe to be the sensitivity of the public.  And no, they’re not the same.

Is it the fact that I struggle with it?  Or, the fact that I’ve overcome it?

Then I would say that the purpose and intent behind the posts were either misunderstood, or missed altogether.  I would also say that this is the reason so many people (men and women) struggle in silence with this addiction; afraid to speak out, to seek help, because the very word—the very idea—is so taboo.

Get over it, folks!

The majority, THE MAJORITY, of people in the U.S. are intimately familiar with this issue. (Pun, most definitely intended.)

Some have no problem with it and see no “struggle” to overcome.

Some do.

I do.

More importantly, my writing has ALWAYS been about matters of struggle (about 30% of my content) and matters of faith about 70%).  These posts are no different.  The intentions of these particular posts are twofold:

  • A)  That I make available my struggle, and the road I took and the resources I used, to overcome this overwhelming addiction that so many men and women deal with on a daily basis.
  • B)  That I be transparent in who I am.  That if I write about issues of faith, salvation, inspiration, and my take on those subjects, that it be important for the reader to know that I too am imperfect, that I too need faith, salvation, and inspiration as much as the person I am “speaking” to.  That I come from a background of personal experience with struggle and, ultimately, triumph.  (I think of the video to Michael W. Smith’s song, “Healing Rain” where we see Michael leading all these various “sinners” into the healing rain . . . and then he, himself, steps in.  THAT was powerful to me!)

Am I to keep quiet about such issues? Such struggles? Knowing what I myself have gone through them—continue to go through them?  Knowing that my journey may help someone else navigate a similar road?  Knowing that this is what my God calls me to do?  The very purpose I may be called for?  Over the fact that someone might take offense?  May not contribute to an organization to which I belong?  Could choose not to associate with us?  Would it truly be better that I rather keep this to myself over being open about my many struggles and my few triumphs—stories that could be useful to their lives: That might be relevant to someone—speaking directly into their here and now: That may be the rescue of their family, or marriage.

How dare I even consider the thought?

How selfish of me.

I cannot run my life on the negative aspects of could’s and might’s and may’s, especially at the risk of losing the positive aspects of those very same words and doubts.  Those positive aspects permeate both my call to writing and the call of purpose in most all socially supportive, advocating non-profit organizations.

We could be helping someone.

We might make a difference in their lives.

We may be the influence they need to make their own positive decisions.

I, for one, will continue to do that through whatever road my writing chooses to take me.  It is truly unfortunate that I cannot say the same of my future endeavors with Ds Connections Nw.

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7 thoughts on “Reactions to My Posts on Addiction – – In Worlds of “Could” and “May” and “Might””

  1. Are you effing kidding me? Truthfully, I felt that it was a little too sensitive for public posting but then again, I’m only one person. Was it offensive? Not at all. I thought that it may be very helpful for others struggling with this addiction to see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m so mad right now. I can’t believe the crap that happens in the “Christian” world. What kind of a world is it when Christians can’t give God glory for something they have overcome in their PAST?!?! This is what I have to say to these “Perfect” people who are casting stones at you: Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Matthew 7:5

    1. Thank you, Jane. That’s actually the type of response I was foreseeing from most people: If a person thinks it was a little too sensitive, then that post wasn’t meant for that person. But your conclusion was right on the nose: just because somebody thought it was a little too sensitive doesn’t mean it wasn’t appropriate for somebody ELSE. 🙂 This is exactly why this subject gets swept under the rug — it’s just not something you’re supposed to talk about. Way too many people are torturing themselves in the depths of self-pity and guilt NOT to talk about it! Thanks again. It’s always good to hear from you.

      P.S. How be da photo bidnezz??!!

      1. Completely ridiculous. Are you fighting this? You should.
        I’m doing good. Photo business is slow but I’m not putting much into it. One of these days, I’ll really promote myself and start making some money.

        1. Ahh man, don’t look back when you’re 80 and go, “Gee, I wish I woulda . . . ”

          As far as fighting, no, things worked out exactly as they were supposed to. I got a call, the very day the 1st post was released, from another blogging friend of mine (Guy Wolfe/Holy Ghost Bumps) saying he’d read somewhere before of my struggle with this and if I had any information or resources for a friend of his (hence the second “resources” post). He hadn’t even seen the first post yet. Second, my wife (she’s fully aware of my past) “liked” my post on Facebook, which she usually doesn’t do and which therefore sent it out to all of her friends . . . and the problems began. Third, we’d just read over the last couple of days in our devotional reading all about being in God’s will, “If you are abiding in Christ, you don’t need to ask if you are in God’s will; you already are.” ~~ that type of thing. So, it was just set up, and played out, perfectly. Everything that has happened was supposed to have happened. Our time with DsCNw was obviously done. If it hadn’t have been this it would have been something else, and probably sooner than later. We’re just looking out for the “next step” at this point. Enjoying the ride. We’re not in the driver’s seat of this bus anyway!

  2. I feel like there are some behavior issues that are so “taboo” that people who are struggling with those behaviors don’t feel like they can ever open up and talk about them. I feel saddened that there are people walking around with heavy burdens who can’t talk about it and, therefore, don’t get any help or support. Jesus came to heal broken hearts and to restore our peace of mind. This can’t happen if we feel our sins our just too dark to acknowledge. I really liked the fact that you included places where people can go to get HELP. It seemed to me that was your main purpose—to help others. Another option for help is through The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-Saints (Mormons). They have an excellent addiction recovery program that addresses the issues of pornography. No, you do not have to be a member and it is free. The number to call is: 924-8932

    1. We certainly don’t have to wave our iniquities around like banners, but perhaps if we talk about them in the spirit of redemption and help the taboo would slowly be removed.

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