What do you do when your best isn’t good enough? Do you dig in and try harder next time? I mean really, how do you improve on your “best”? Do you cave in and say, “Why even try?” Do you shrug in indifference and walk it off like some minor injury on the sports field, like a twisted ankle?
What do I do when I find out my best isn’t good enough?
I’m not sure yet.
I just found out that a grant we applied for, for Ds Connections Nw—the non-profit organization co-founded by my wife and another mom, both parents of children with Down syndrome—has been passed over. “Not moving on”. Rejected. Deeeeenniiied!
I’m not sure how I feel about that yet.
I mean, I put my heart and soul into that application, spent hours on it; weeks. We knew, just knew, this was the direction we were supposed to take this organization. Alas, somebody else’s “best” was apparently better than our “best”. Or, maybe our “best” wasn’t really our best. I don’t know. In any case . . . Now what are we supposed to do?
Well . . .
If you’re stubborn and obstinate like we are, you take it in the direction you intended to go anyway.
Everything we want to do to take this organization to “the next level” we can do nonetheless; just not at the scale we’d initially anticipated. I mean, that was a big reason for me leaving my previous job in the first place . . . to devote more time to getting this non-profit off the ground. It’s a passion. It’s close to our hearts.
It’s our daughter.
This rejection is a setback. Definitely.
It’s also frustrating and depressing as hell, I won’t lie to you. (But it’s only been an hour between when I found out and when I wrote this so it might be a little raw yet. I’m not sure.)
Still, I can’t let it become a stumbling block to our ideological direction. There’s too much riding on this: Our future and well-being of course, but more importantly, my daughter’s future and well-being.
I’ve been told by a certain high-ranking Deity that by following Him my household and I will be taken care of, and I will put my trust in that.
Where we’re headed on that journey, I’m not sure.
Where Ds Connections Nw is headed, I’m not sure either.
I know what I’d like to do; what my plans would be. Yet, I’d also planned on being more of a contender in the running for that grant money.
. . . I’ve also heard that if you want to make God laugh . . .