God has placed within the heart of every man an overpowering desire for three things—a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.
. . . and a woman’s needs are similar. A woman doesn’t need a battle to fight; she needs to be fought for. She needs an adventure to share and a beauty to unveil.
~John Eldredge, “Wild At Heart”
Search your heart, men and women alike, and see if this is not true.
Men: you may not need a sword in your hand, or to join the military, or be Indiana Jones, but think no further than your day-to-day lives: How do you feel when you go to work? Or more so, when you come home? How does your life compare with your dreams? Do you even have dreams, or goals, anymore?
Women: In your life, whether it is at work or home, do you feel needed? Valued? A player in a necessary role that, if left unfilled, would collapse the whole story? To the significant other in your life do you feel valued? Cherished? Desired? Not with a beauty that radiates outward, but with an internal beauty, strength and confidence that comes with the knowledge that you are truly loved, chosen and sought after by . . . someone?
I’ve read Wild At Heart four times now. I pretty well know most of it inside and out by this point and truly believe, especially if you’re a father, and MOST especially if you have sons, this book is a valuable tool in your parental and spiritual arsenal. But this quote, about the three things that a man desires most, really struck a chord with me this time around, especially given the chaotic maelstrom that is my life at the moment.
Think of your job for a moment. Do you see it as an “adventure”? Are there any “battles” to fight where you work? I don’t mean arguments in the meeting room or bitching about coworkers or bosses over the water cooler. I mean, are there genuine obstacles to overcome? Tangible goals to strive for? Activities to master? When you’re done with a project, is there a sense of accomplishment? Do you have a say in your company’s or department’s direction?
Personally, I was struck by this when I began writing a grant application for the non-profit organization that my wife and a friend of hers founded called Ds Connections Nw. This group has been a passion of ours since it was founded in 2009. The thing that continually struck me while I was working on the project, writing or planning, or just day-to-day activities of trying to take this fledgling organization “to the next level”, that when I finished, I was more energized and pumped up than when I began. It was like, “That was cool. What’s next??”
When was the last time you felt that way about your job? I truly can’t remember the last time I looked forward to going to work. I care deeply for the people I work with, but the “job” has become mundane, rote. And I began to think, this is what Eldredge means. No, you don’t have to slay dragons, fight evil, or uncover the holy grail. But living out your life with passion, discovering what truly excites you, gets you turned on about seeing it through . . . and then doing it. That’s adventure! Overcoming odds, or rallying against what society sees as “normal” or “necessary” or even “desirable”, that’s a battle!
And what about a beauty to rescue? When was the last time you and your significant other were truly excited about doing something together? When was the last time you truly looked forward—in fact, couldn’t wait—to get home? Or wives, when you couldn’t wait for your husband to get home, or for you to get home to him, simply because you would be together . . . then, look out world!
Changes are afoot. I have tasted the fruit of true passion and desire; of adventure, and of sailing off into the unknown with nothing more than a desire to explore and the best co-captain any man could ask for. If you have read this and thought, “Hey, that sounds kinda cool. I’d like some of that”, I advise you only to seek out that which truly makes you happy, truly makes you come alive inside, especially if it is something to share with the one you love and have devoted your life to. Find that elusive “thing” and make it your life’s goal. Make it a hobby, make it a pastime, or best yet, find someone who will pay you to do it and make it your job!
Sound too easy? It is! It will be the easiest, hardest, most rewarding, most thrilling, scariest thing you will ever do. It will also probably be the best time of your life!
Buy “Wild At Heart”
Another book to light your world on fire, “Crazy Love”