My walk along the spiritual path has been long, winding, often diverted and on occasion, totally washed-out. I sometimes get those feelings of cynicism or self-doubt; that I’m a rather poor example of what one would consider a “person of faith”; especially by others that consider themselves “persons of faith”. Not necessarily one to be placed on the lofty wall of the great spiritually enlightened or held in reverence when speaking of those in the pantheon of righteousness.
“Yes, there was Moses of course, and Abraham, Joseph and that fellow Paul was quite smashing as well, but have you seen THIS gentleman! What flawless grace! What profound wisdom! What boundless patience! And such restraint and self-control!”
But, as Lily Burana put it, as written in a 2010 blog post:
“After all, the self-satisfied and self-righteous have come for me, too: YOU, a Christian? With those politics? With that past? . . . I knew they’d show up, those stingy, uncharitable moral goalkeepers, with their underlined passages in Leviticus and their pointy-finger God. It just ain’t a Jesus party without this particular turd in the spiritual punchbowl. Maybe it’s the believer’s rite of passage — until you’ve encountered this type and had them declare a fundamental component of your identity an “abomination,” you kind of haven’t lived. The challenge is to have your faith tested this way and not blink.”
Or, as Stacie Orrico sings:
“Don’t look at me, look at Him.”
I’m what you would call . . . human. Look around. On the street, in your neighborhood, on the pew next to you; we’re everywhere. There’s a lot more of us than you’d think.
As many of you know, I’ve left the wild jungles of retail customer service, having been called on the carpet by Francis Chan in his excellent book, “Crazy Love” then seeming to have every single passage in the Bible that I read in some way relate to my life circumstances at the time. (Funny how that works!) Recently, I was told by someone in our home group what an inspiration my wife and I were to all of them by stepping out on faith like we have. After all, when I decided to give my notice at work, I had nothing to go to, no back up plan, nothing but the hope and faith that the steps we were taking were the steps God was asking us to take. We had no idea where we were going just that we were being asked (told) to go.
I don’t feel like an inspiration! I think my response was, “I don’t know about that, ‘cuz I have no idea what the hell I’m doing!”
Maybe though, that’s the point. Maybe God is sitting up there going, “Yeah, but I do!”
I hope so. After all, that’s what faith is all about. And if that’s an inspiration, that’s okay with me . . . because it certainly isn’t me that’s drivin’ this bus!
“You ‘n me, God! You ‘n me!”